At that Moment
by ev1l-ch1b1-urd
Summary: Jdorama-based. A take on the consequences of 3-d going wild on the reportes, and Kumiko's decision. Oneshot.


The moment it had become a choice between her and them, she knew that she would lose, either way. That something would die inside her, no matter what choice she made.

In truth, she already knew what decision she would make, even as she heard the chairman's condition…but she just wanted to, in the very least, finish this day as their teacher. She didn't dare do anything that might alert them to her state of mind, so it was an uneventful ending.

Well. It was for the best. Too many things have happened, already.

It was worse, at home.

She watched the news, trying to gauge how bad things were.

It was a disaster. Not only did they paint her as the bad guy (which she had expected) they were ruining her students, as well.

It was all her fault.

Unable to take any more, she turned her face away. Noticing the alarming state she was in, Tetsu had turned off the tv.

And even as Tetsu tried to lighten the mood, he knew it would be no use. Everyone was at a loss as to what to do.

It was a name that caught her ear that brought her back.

"Ojou. Shin is here."

Sawada.

She watched him carefully, as he pattered around her room, picking up random things, and putting them back, where he found it. There was something about his presence that comforted her, and she smiled wryly, behind his back.

"I thought you might be depressed." She heard him say. But it was what he said next that really surprised her. She saw him pick up a cardboard mask, as he added;

"You tend to blame yourself and get depressed."

"Sawada…" She whispered. How did he know her so well?

He put the mask down, and slowly faced her.

"Our punishment will be decided tomorrow, right? Sorry to have caused all that commotion." He mentioned, gazing at her.

"But it wasn't your fault." He added, his gaze hardening.

Why was it always like this, between them? Always, when she overreacted, or when she was about to do something rash, he always, always showed up. Always, when the others were hesitant to follow, it was his indulging her that decided them to go along with what she wanted.

It was him that helped her understand the others better. Who, at the moment she felt at a loss as to what to do, would be there to see her through it.

It was as if he instinctively knew when she needed him, and what she needed from him, that he was always there to give it to her.

And hearing him say those words to her, knowing he wanted to protect her from herself, it ate away at her resolve.

"You didn't do anything. It was my fault." She insisted. She couldn't afford to back down, now. Not when their future was at stake. She was about to say more, when he cut her off.

"See? You're taking all the blame." He said, in a coaxing voice. A voice filled with kindness and compassion.

A voice that was so hard to refuse.

She smiled slightly, as she returned his gaze. It would be so easy to just cry, and let him hold her, because she knew he would.

But she couldn't.

Because if she did, she would become weak. And she would be unable to do what she should. And it was not something she could allow herself to do.

So she steeled herself against him, as she gave him a gung-ho smile, and said;

"Sawada…I won't let them expel you guys. Not at any cost" _Even if it meant losing her job._

It was, in the very least…the truth.

He, on the other hand, knew exactly what she meant.

"I understand. I'm sorry to bother you at such a late hour."

He knew the answer she gave him was not the answer to what was really bothering him, so, seeing as he couldn't get a straight answer out of an indirect approach, just as he was about to go down the stairs, he turned back to her, and in a worried voice, asked;

"Na, Yankumi…you won't be forced to quit, will you?"

She began to panic inwardly. Apparently, he wasn't fooled. He slowly looked up, meeting her eyes, his own seemingly observing her critically, looking for a telltale sign of falsehood, as if he expected her to lie to him, almost daring her to.

"You won't be fired because of us, will you?"

Damn him for always being such a nosy brat, but he was making it so hard for her.

She gave him a shaky laugh, scoffing at the very idea of it.

"Of course not."

He didn't look like he was buying it…but there was nothing for it, but to hope for the best. He figured if she could still smile to some degree, maybe it wasn't as bad as all that.

And just as he left, she picked up a picture. The one with him, standing beside her, the others surrounding them, as she tried to regain her battered resolve.

All those smiling faces. Even him, who rarely smiled, was there standing beside her.

Like he always did.

And it was for him. For all of them that she had to do this.

"I'll protect you guys. By any means necessary, I'll protect you guys, okay?"

It hurt like hell…but she was going to do it.

**0o0o0**

"What's the meaning of this? Shin!" He heard them demand.

In all honesty, he had lost so many important things, over time. It was one of the reasons he had begun to have such a cynical outlook in life.

Friends. Family. Comfort. Trust. A lot of important things. But since he had always been practical and adaptable, he was able to go on, even if he had to carry the emotional baggage to do so.

He had gone to see her last night, and with a smile, she had sent him home.

She had lied to him. And she did it, with that dopey face on. He couldn't take it.

And like an idiot, he believed her.

And so, when one of the guys had burst into their classroom, saying she had quit, he was the first to run out to confront her.

There was no way he was going to let this happen. There was no way. He would take any loss, ANY LOSS, BUT THIS.

THAT IDIOT.

And as the others began to get to the bottom of things, he glared at her irritably.

_How could you? How could you look at me with that face, and lie to me? _

And, as more foolishness came out of her mouth, the angry words, full of hurt, frustration, and worry struggled against his tightly pursed lips.

_Do not tell me you are going to do this to me again._

"_**Then tell us why you're quitting. Did you do anything to warrant it?"**_ He asked.

Dammit. He can no longer keep silent. But he would try to reason out with her. He would try to keep logical about things. Even though he knew she wouldn't.

"_**You didn't! But you're quitting anyway? That's not like you!"**_

And yet, as she looked at him, determined to shoulder the burden, all by herself, for their sake, trying her hardest not to show just how much that decision hurt her, he couldn't help how he felt. Even his emotions were leaking out, as he stared back at her. It was as if they were silently arguing with each other.

_It's not like I really want to do this. But I don't have a choice._ Her eyes seemed to say.

_I know why you're doing this…but how could you lie to us?_ His accusing, exasperated glare answered.

_How could you lie to me?_

_why couldn't you just tell us the truth?_

"_**Didn't you tell us to be honest with our feelings?"**_ She heard him ask, as his eyes told her what he really wanted to say.

_Why couldn't you tell ME the truth?_

"_**Are you doing that right now?"**_ He demanded.

_Why couldn't you trust me enough?_

"_**Aren't you lying to yourself?"**_ He asked, loudly, driving the point home.

_You don't always have to be so strong._

_Because we're here._

_Because I'm here…right beside you. _

_As I've always been._

"**I'm tired of taking care of you guys!"** He heard her reply, in a nervous but forced voice.

The more she lied, the more it pissed him off.

"**I never knew being a school teacher would be this hard!" **

Why? Why did she always choose to do everything, herself?

"**I had no idea you guys would require so much care!"**

Why couldn't she rely on him? On them? On anyone? And the more she pretended, the more her words stung, knowing it killed her to hurt them this way.

She was already on the verge of crying, her face betraying everything her words tried to hide.

Why was she so hell-bent on leaving hi…them?

She couldn't even face him, knowing she couldn't look at him, as she did.

"**I'm fed up with being your teacher!"**

It was this more than anything that made his temper snap.

_At least, face me, if you dare say those things!!!_

"YOU LIAR!" He accused. He was finally shouting angrily, hating that she could push him this far.

"IT'S NOT A LIE!" She denied, as she walked hurriedly away, his words hurting more than any other. Because it came from him…and because they were true. She didn't think she could take any more from him.

He pulled at his bangs in exasperation. That IDIOT was so stubborn!

"STOP MESSING AROUND! YOU PROMISED TO SEE US THROUGH THE END! YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO GET ALL OF US TO GRADUATE, DIDN'T YOU?" He screamed in desperation. He didn't care if the others misunderstood (or understood what his words really meant), or thought he was overreacting.

All he knew at that moment, was that she was walking away, and she was no longer listening.

She was leaving…for real.

"YANKUMI!"

If she wasn't going to turn around…she wasn't going to stop.

So he didn't even bother, as the others had begun to shout after her.

At this moment…he felt like an empty shell.

She wasn't coming back.


End file.
